Well, as most of you reading this probably know, we recently took a 3-day roadtrip to Disneyland - Paris. We left around 8am on Tuesday morning and arrived at the Disneyland Resorts around 1pm. We would have been there about an hour earlier, but hubby took a wrong exit and we had to backtrack a small bit, plus we made a couple of reststops on the way. Our room, at the Sequoyia Lodge, wasn't really supposed to be ready till 4pm, so we'd plan to just head right on over to the park, but on a whim we checked in at the desk and as luck would have it, we were allowed to unpack our things straight away. The room itself was nice and had a decent view (we could watch the nightly fireworks from the window).
We spent the rest of that day at the park, riding various rides including the Pirates of the Caribbean, a spook house and a nice train ride around the park. We then had our evening meal at the Rainforest Cafe. That was a cool place on its own, as there was an elephant head mounted on one wall and it would animate and trumpet from time to time. The lights would flicker off and on too at times, while thunder/rain sound effects played. The food was great.
The following day we headed off to breakfast in the lodge's restaurant and then spent the morning at the Disney Studios park. Hubby and I had visited Disneyland several years back, but that was before the Studios section had been added, so this was an extra fun area for us, as it was all new. Our favourite area was the Backlot section, where you could take a train ride through part of the park and get first-hand view of some of the special effects involved in their film-making, including wardrobe, props and visual/physical effects. They had several prop pieces from Dinotopia, including a very large set piece of one of the buildings where a pair of pterodactyl statues were placed on either side of a grand doorway. At one point, we were taken to a rocky set, where a tanker truck was perched, water coming down the sides of the "mountain" like a waterfall, here and there. Then they took us through the action of the "scene", having "rain" fall, a power line spark up and cause the tanker to explode (you could feel the heat of the flames) and then a huuuugggeee flood came rushing down the "mountain" at us, getting alot of the tourists, including us, wet. In another area we were treated to some firebreathing from a dragon. We also watched the Motor Stunt Show, where they had stunt drivers perform feats on motorbikes and in cars. That was definitely a great performance. We also visited several of the shows they had, like about animation history, etc. After lunch, we headed back over to the main park and road more rides and did *alot* of walking. We got to watch one of the parades, visited quite a few of the rides we hadn't the day before (and repeated some we had, like the Pirates of the Caribbean one), then we headed off for our evening meal at Planet Hollywood.
Our final day we revisited both park areas, did some souvenier shopping (I got a crystal frog inside a small glass bottle, hubby got a Grumpy dwarf mug, boy got some big mickey mouse hands/gloves, etc) and then we headed home sometime after lunch.
Was a great trip all in all, even with having to be in the car for 4 hours there, and back. I kept the boy busy part of the time with some roadtrip bingo (I'd made some cards for both of us and we just marked the items off with a pen as we spotted them), and the rest of the time he snoozed.
Not had a chance to check out the pictures we took (boy had his own camera, so he took a full roll that we still need to get developed), but if any come out decent enough, I may see about posting some.
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Tomorrow we head off for our mini-vacation, so today is busy with last minute cleaning, shopping (for snacks, film and whatnot) and some packing. The boy and hubby are on a quick trip to the container park (to dump off our recyclables), so I'm taking the opportunity to post here. :P
Here is a game I spotted this morning(likely it's already been mentioned elsewhere, but anyhoo).
Name: Mobai Room
URL: http://mofuya.com/flash/mobai.htm
Description: Nice and short escape-the-room game
Gamershood also has about 7 new listings (none seemed anything to my taste, but some of you might find them entertaining). http://www.gamershood.com/
With that, I'm off for a bite of breakfast. See you all on Thursday! :)
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Today is starting out decent enough. We've been getting alot of rain the past few days, but at the moment it's just overcast and comfortable. I hope the weather continues to stay mild, since on Tuesday we head off to visit Disneyland Paris. That means tomorrow will be cleaning and packing day. I always like to do alot of cleaning before going on a trip, that way when we get back, everything is nice and fresh and there's nothing to do except unpack and recoup. We'll only be gone for a few days this trip (back on Thursday, I believe). In the meantime, here are a few more games for you geekers out there. :) Enjoy!
Name: Look Up Into the Sky
URL: http://www.ep-melody.com/flash/lookup/
Description: I can't understand a lick of what is said in the prologue (or the book you read at the beginning of the game itself), but it looks to be a basic room escape game. I've several items so far (a marker, a hammer, a piece of paper, something that looks like a dark grey rock and chopsticks, but haven't played enough yet to see if I can actually use any of them.
Name: Ciao Bella - The Zoom Zoom Episode
URL: http://www.shockwave.com/gamelanding/ciaobella.jsp
Description: Once again you have to organise Elena's life with the ultimate goal being to win Elio's heart.
Name: Scribble
URL: http://www.jmtb02.com/flash/scribble.htm
Description: a nice little time-waster where you use your crayon to draw each picture as fast as you can in a connect-the-dot style gaming.
Name: Lines
URL: http://www.itsall3.com/games/game.php?cc=2404&name=Lines
Description: Dodge the lines, collect the stars - simple but addictive.
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Saturday morning brings to mind....sleeping in a little later and cartoons. It also reminds me that the weekend is fully underway and we are already that much closer to another Monday. eek!
How about some games to get our minds off the inevitable?
Name: Horsey Racing
URL: http://www.gamesheep.com/jocuri/horseyracing/
Description: Run with Sparky, Rosy or Saddler in this fantastic race... Don't forget to eat the apples in your way to restore your energy bar. You also find special items... on your way :) Click to begin the race. Click again to jump the fences. Double click will make you jump higher. M-Music, S-Sound, Q-Quit
Name: Goggles - The Google Maps Flight Sim
URL: http://www.isoma.net/games/goggles.html
Description: A flight simulator game that uses images uploaded from Google Maps. To control the plane use the arrow keys to bank and dive, the A and Z keys to change speed and the Spacebar to fire.
Name: Brandy and Mr. Whiskers - Leaf Boarding
URL: http://www.gamesheep.com/jocuri/leaf-boarding/
Description: Finish this river race avoiding traps and obstacles! Use the Arrow Keys to move your leaf on the rapids. You also can use the 1, 2, and 3 keys to perform tricks while you are jumping.
Name: World Cup Headers 2006
URL: http://www.gamesheep.com/jocuri/worldcup-headers/
Description: Beat all your opponents and become the world champion! Use the A and D keys to move and W to jump. You can also use combinations to be more efficient! Game is available in a variety of languages, including English, French, Spanish and Dutch.
Have fun! :)
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| Date: | 2006-08-04 08:21 |
| Subject: | Bored? |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  cheerful |
A new day, so here a few games that might interest some of you. :)
Name: Sim Pet
URL: http://www.gamershood.com/flashgames/1764
Description: An rpg/simulation game, your goal is to keep your pet happy and healthy.
Name: Classroom 3
URL: http://www.c404.net/games/the_classroom3.htm
Description: I never played the others that I think this one is a sequel off, but I believe the object of the game is to cheat off the "nerd", without getting caught by the teacher.
Name: 3-Cup
URL: http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/3cup
Description: A puzzle so simple, we will show you how to complete it first! Turn all the cups up to win, move 2 cups at a time. This one is a doozey.
Name: Musical Lantern
URL: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/lantern.php
Description: A side-scrolling adventure type game where you carry a lantern and explore a castle hallway (avoiding obstacles along the way). Your lantern dims as you progress, so you must collect orbs of light to regenerate it.
Name: Storm the House 3
URL: http://www.armorgames.com/games/stormthehouse2_popup.html
Description: A shooter game (similar to defend your castle) where you are charged with the task of defending your house. Spacebar reloads your ammo, and "P" pauses the game. As you earn payroll for successfully defending your home, you can buy upgrades and such before you attempt the next levels.
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| Date: | 2006-08-03 19:33 |
| Subject: | Fun Time |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | chipper |
Thanks to Mantari, I too plan to contribute here to the game finding frenzy, with The-Geek being out-of-order for the time being. Please keep in mind that I've no way to confirm if these were already posted before in the forum, so bear with me if I should post something that you've already seen. If you too have come across some games that you'd like to share with the rest of us, feel free to start up your own listing at your LJ (and leave your name in a comment here so we know where to look), or just leave the game links here in the comments.
Name: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
URL: http://adisney.go.com/disneypictures/pirates/main.html
Description: Interactive website where you can browse the site and collect digital trading cards (by clicking various items in the website images). You can also "plunder" some items (again by clicking on them). When you've collected all your plunder, you gain access to a special area of the site. Aside from the trading cards, you may also find wallpapers, e-cards, etc. You must register in order to play.
Name: Ant Tracks
URL: http://www.fingertime.com/anttracks.php
Description: Get all the ants booty back to the Tree stores to keep the colony supplied with wholesome bugs, tasty leaves and groovy grubs. To do this, find the safest path across the tree branches by changing the directional arrows and avoiding the beasties. Make sure the right booty ends up in the right tree stores!
Name: Jasper - Little Caveman and the Pteroeggs
URL: http://www.fingertime.com/jaspy.php
Description: Help our little hero Jaspy the Caveman jump from cloud to cloud to reach the top of the mountain, where Pterodactyls lay their eggs. To do this, simply use the mouse button to jump! Watch out for Pterodactyls as they'll stop you jumping, or push you off clouds to defend their eggs.
That's all for today. Hope you all enjoy them! :)
On a more personal note, in my last entry I mentioned my starting a little exercise program. Figured a quickie update on that was in order. :) I've continued with my daily workout and have been paying more attention to the foods we eat (i.e. buying low-fat alternatives, smaller portions, etc). It may not seem like alot to some, but so far I've lost around 4 kilos (8 lbs). Any loss is good news to me, so I'm pretty happy with how things are going. :)
Till next time....have a wonderful day!
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Well, school officially ends this Thursday. My son is already bouncing off the walls in anticipation of two months home with mom. I should relish that attitude, as I know there will come a day when he won't want to be caught within ten feet of him, as I might embarass him in front of his friends. Funny how things like that go.
Going to try a little more structure for this summer though, in the hopes that the boy's introduction to grade 5 this next school year goes without any hitches (while he's doing well in school, we still prefer to give him extra preparation when/where we can, to try to make things easier for him in the long run). We've bought several math/language workbooks, made in a way that the child learns through games/puzzles, and plan to have him work a page or two each day. A minor thing when you think about it, but I think it'll help him alot, just to keep things kinda fresh in his mind over the next couple of months.
Hubby and I just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. We received many well-wishes, but I was somewhat disappointed that my parents didn't remember. They aren't big on celebrating special occasions (neither are we, for that matter), but still. Anyways...I can't believe it's been that long...seems just like yesterday we were settling into our little home together. Been a great time.
I've grown more adamant about tackling my weight. Bought a work-out tape and have been exercising regularly for about...hmm...almost two weeks, I think. Just a 30 minute stint in the mornings (about all I can handle without falling over lol). And while I'm not actually on a diet, per say, I'm starting to take a little more care into what I eat, choosing lower fat options, and so forth. Don't really notice any significant changes yet, but I do feel better than I have in a while. That feeling though is probably more attributed to my finally doing something to improve myself, and being happy that I've actually taken these first steps. Hubby, of course, has been very understanding and supportive. Even the boy is putting his efforts into it, by sometimes exercising right along with me. With family like that, even if I don't lose a thing, I feel like a winner.
Let's see....there have been roadworks on our street for some time now....they ripped up the hedges and trees that used to line the street, tore out the sidewalks and even cut away part of the roadway (used to be two lanes, now it's one and a half lol). We are only just now starting to see things come together. Early on they were just busy installing new sewer pipes and whatnot, but this past week they've been plotting/measuring and installed new hedge sections (not the bushes themselves yet, but they've stone off the areas where they will go) and are currently re-bricking the sidewalk and new bike path. It's the introduction of the bike path that brought about all this reconstruction to begin with, and we look forward to seeing how it all turns out.
Guess that's enough jibbering for now....till next time I get the urge to write....have a B...A...U...tiful day! :)
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Well, with The-Geek at the mercy of hackers, and my being "ordered" not to visit the site till the issue is resolved, I find myself with quite a bit of extra free time on my hands. So yep, that means Mr. Journal may be seeing alot more of me, at least for a little while.
I've been spending the time I usually use monitoring The-Geek, honing my Paint Shop Pro skills. I really love the fact that hubby discovered JaKoolDesigns and introduced me to it. I've not really been inspired creatively in such a long time, I had almost forgot how fun it was to make things and see the appreciation of others enjoying what I made. I've even started making tutorials to help others in getting started in making forum signatures. I've been thinking about setting up a personal webpage to showcase some of mine and hubby's work, but I've yet to be inspired on how to actually design the site, so until that lightbulb goes off, that'll be a "some day" project.
I'm still really active on Neopets. Hard to believe I've been there for nearly 2 years now. It's a great stress reliever though (like so many of my online activities) and alot of fun. One of my favourite things to do is the Random Contest. I like to use them as "rainy day" projects for me and my son. Like the latest one, where we had to build Neopet themed bird feeders. My son helped me build (or rather I helped him) a foot tall blue meepit with a hole in its belly (to hold the food). We had a blast! We actually won 3rd place in the contest too, which was the icing on the cake.
Another thing I've started is a daily exercise routine. Nothing major (I simply couldn't handle anything too strenuous), but it's a start. I'm nothing gigantic, but I'm no skinny minny either. What bothers me the most is I'm noticing that as I'm getting older, I'm starting to have those "old lady arms", you know...the kind that when you raise them, they sag and flap in the wind when you wave. It's embarrassing to me, even if no one else has said anything to me about it.
Anyway, just a few tidbits of my life at them moment.
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| Date: | 2005-01-18 10:36 |
| Subject: | Been a while... |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | chipper |
The new year has rung in with a muffled "ding dong". The weather has been either wet or windy or both and always cold. My allergies seem to have kicked into overtime, keeping my eyes itchy, skin irritated, sinuses full and head/body aching. Contact with my family overseas has become even less frequent since their move, as things there with them and my brother and his family have still not improved, much to everyone's discomfort and dismay.
The past few months have not been without their good points though. My boy's birthday party in early December went off without a hitch and in an uncharacteristically optimistic way I'm actually looking forward to planning the next one. The holidays following the party, while busy and against my humbuggish nature, were more than tolerable. We even bought a string of lights for the terrace this year, which is saying alot considering both myself and my husband aren't much for celebrating. The boy brings out holiday cheer in even the grinchiest of us all, I guess. :P
Speaking of the boy, he continues to do well in school. They've been working hard with learning the basics of the metric system (something I still find confusing, curses to the US and their refusal to give up on the inches/ft front lol) and expanding their mathematics to more complex division problems. I swear when I look at how they teach problem solving these days, I wonder how I and those in my grade ever got it, as the diagrams and such they use here with my boy are beyond foreign in nature. An odd turn of the table when it's him teaching me how to do a simple division problem, and me staring blankly at the diagram they fill out to figure it out in longhand. lol
He's also growing like weed. Seems at least every month and a half to two we are needing to purchase new shoes and pants. We get a new pair of pants and blink and it's like having Steve Urkel suddently in the room, highwater pants lol. It seems like only yesterday that I could carry my boy with one arm, wrapped up in a little blankie and him blowing spit bubbles. Time goes by so quickly...
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Well, the invitations for my son's upcoming birthday party (set for Dec. 4th) have been handed out, so we're now officially stuck with holding it. lol Don't get me wrong, as I'm sorta looking forward to it and I *know* he is, but I just worry that something will screw up about it and make it one of those kinds of memories that once he's adult, he'll hope to forget.
Anyway, my worries aside, everything seems to be coming together nicely. We made the invitations ourselves, making them pizza-shaped with the ingredients (pepperoni, peppers, olives, etc) as pasted-on cutouts. For the inside I just printed out a few small pizza-themed clipart, like a chef and a pizza, coloured them and then pasted those and clippings of the printed out information (time, date, etc.) on the card. Turned out pretty nice, if I may say so myself.
He decided only to invite four boys (three from his class and another from a few classes back that he's befriended fairly recently). Most of the boys in his class are either bully-ish or way rowdy and as he's fairly particular about his things, he didn't want to invite those types, which minimized his choices. (yes, he's a godsend lol) As for girls, he's going through a "girls have cooties" phase, which again is fine by me, as it makes things much simpler.
We plan to decorate our apartment door with some sort of fake-ish pizza parlor logo, something like "Welcome to Tyler's Pizzeria!" with pizzas, drinks, etc drawn on it. We'll probably have balloons scattered about the stairwell and on the outer door and mailbox. Might doodle things on those too. We found a stream of pizza-shaped flags, so my son's been busy adding drawn pepperonies and whatnot to them. I long ago collected red/white checkered cups, plates and table cloth for that "italian eatery" feel.
As for the party itself, we're sort of keeping it loosey goosey, but have a few things that we for sure have planned. The invitations have instructed the boys to bring an apron or old t-shirt to cover their nice clothes, so as they arrive we plan to ask them to put that on, then we'll be painting a little curly mustache onto each of their faces. (might have them take a pic with my boy, like a souvenier) Then we'll corral them around a table full of crafty stuff where they can assemble their chef hats and paper-pizzas. We'll have strips of posterboard for the bands of the hats and crepe paper for the poofs. There will be paper plates to act as the "crust" for the paper-pizzas, and cutouts of various ingredients like mushrooms, pepperoni, bell pepper, cheese bits, that they can glue onto their crust. There will also be markers and coloured pencils for them to use if they choose to decorate their hat bands or simply draw the bits of ingredients onto the plate/crust.
Once they've made their "fake" pizza, then they'll be taken into the kitchen a few at a time, to make the real thing. We'll have pre-made crusts ready for them to decorate, with bowls of all sorts of things for them to choose from to assemble their pizza including pineapple, olives, mozarella, hamburger bits, ham chunks, etc. Once the pizzas are cooked, they'll be sliced in half, with one half being foiled-up for the guest that made it and the other half will be divided into smaller slices, so that everyone will be able to sample each guest's creation. We'll be giving prizes for best tasting and best looking pizzas as part of the fun.
While the pizzas are being made/cooked, we'll probably play a few games, like maybe pizza bingo or pin-the-mustache-on-the-chef. We'll of course permit them to congregate in front of the telly if they all can agree on a particular kiddy movie to watch. To tide them over till the pizzas are ready, we'll have things like snack crackers (look and taste like pizzas) and maybe a small amount of gummy candy (looks like pasta).
As take home bags, we've gotten some small-sized pizza boxes (something I snagged from Ken's Pizza on our last trip to the US lol) and have filled them each with a wooden spoon, chocolate/cookie "bread" sticks, more of that gummy-spaghetti candy, a mini-gummy pizza and then they'll be getting their foil-wrapped half of pizza they made (unless they decide to eat it all up), the paper-pizza they made, chef hat and anything else they can shove in there.
Might sound like we've gone all out for it, but it's been pretty easy/fun to assemble and hopefully will be just as fun for him and his guests to participate in, when the time comes.
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Wow, been a long time since I felt compelled to write something. Seems like this past month just slipped on by without me noticing too much. You know how it is...you get to doing something and things around you just keep on going whether you are paying attention to them or not...and before you know it, alot has gone on. Funny thing is, when you try to recall all the things that happened or that you did during that time...it's like trying to recall a dream...fuzzy and obscure.
Halloween has come and gone. I remember as a child how that holiday almost took precedence over Christmas, it was that big of an event for us. While there were those families that went all out for the snowy holiday, with lights and animatronics that would tear a huge whole in your pocketbook and put Tim the Toolman Taylor to shame, we invested our time and energies into making our home a fun place to trick-or-treat. My mom would set up speakers and play non-stop spooky noises cassettes, with witches cackling, wolves baying, chains rattling and some poor soul screaming bloody murder. My brother enjoyed playing the role of part of the lawn decorations, remaining perfectly still so that kids and their parents would think he was just another "dummy" made up to look real, then he'd send then squealing and laughing when he suddenly moved and went "boo!" or something. This was back in the days when you could get a bagful of homemade goodies and not have to worry about needles and razor blades and have to have your candies x-rayed to make sure they were safe. We even had a neighbor that gave out tons of free hotdogs and drinks. It was a great time for us all.
Here though, it's not exactly a celebrated day, even though in recent years you can find halloweenish products and costumes for sale in a number of stores. They just haven't caught the full "spirit" of it yet, but maybe in a few years. Probably just as well though, as I'm getting to old to be able to handle the spooky stuff. I'm jittery as it is, sorta weak in the heart, and likely better for my health if I restrict myself to getting spooked by my husband and son, who happen to get a thrill out of making me squeal when they pop out from behind a door or something.
Some of my preoccupation though, a small excuse for my not tending to everything I should probably tend to, including this journal, is working to plan a party for my son's upcoming birthday (Dec. 4th). Yes, it's a tad early I suppose (I actually started thinking about it and whatnot back a few months), but as this will be his first "official" birthday party, I want to try to make it a good one, one that he'll enjoy recalling later on in life. Now, it isn't that we haven't celebrated his b-day before, we always have had family and cake and gifts. This year will be the first year I've permitted him (and he's even bothered asking for) friends to be invited.
I'm already a tad nervous about it, as we've a small apartment and I'm hoping he keeps to inviting his more "well-behaved" buddies. Why have it at home? Well, he's a super fan of homemade pizzabread, and that will be the theme of his party....a pizza party. So I've been busy trying to think of pizza themed games and activities. We plan to have all the ingredients pre-prepared and have ready-made crusts lined up with all the dishes of toppings and then let the boys make their own pizza. It'll be a small group of kids, so I don't think we'll have too much trouble, as long as I can come up with an activity for some of them to work on while a few head off to the kitchen to make their pizza and then have the groups switch. Should be an interesting experience, whatever happens. Probably the deciding factor if we ever do it again too. lol
One bit of "excitement" that happened recently was that my hubby and I were watching the telly late last evening, then we both heard two loud bumping/crunching noises from outside. Went to have a look out the kitchen window and saw that someone had crashed their car into a car that had been parked out in front of the apartment complex. We went down to have a look and found out that the car that had been hit was our neighbors from across the hall's car. In fact, both of their cars had taken damage, as the driver of the car had rammed the front end of her vehicle into the back end of theirs (the hubby's company car), which in turn smashed into the back of their family car and then flopped over into the hedge. Needless to say most every neighbor was out and about, chattering and watching the "show". From what I gathered, the driver had been drunk. And we could see no tire tracks (nor did we hear any tires squealing before the bangs) so she just hit dead on at full speed. Thankfully no one was hurt, other than the cars and the hedge and one of the trees that lines the front walkway. What with four firetrucks, two policecars, three tow trucks and probably no less than 20 people at work on the scene (not including us gawkers), our little semi-narrow road was pretty packed and full of activity. I'm just glad it wasn't our car.
Well, it's fairly late and I'm pretty dog tired, so that'll be it for now. Until next time, Mr. Journal...
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Haven't really felt like writing. Truth is, I haven't really felt like doing much the past few weeks and the piles of papers, cluttered tables and serious need of the carpets to be vacuumed are starting to tattle on me. I just haven't felt too energized since my last cold. Never have completely overcome it actually, as I'm still snotting, sneezing and coughing off and on.
Trouble with being someone that is riddled with allergies and prone to sickness in general, it's hard to tell where one cold ends and an allergy attack begins. I just know that for a while now I have felt like my head is filled with one big gooey ball of green stuff that only wants to trickle out. Yeah, gotta love the nice image. Kind of reminds me of a weird term my mom used for when she'd blow her nose and have to literally pull whatever it was that was stuck in there, out. She called it a lamb leg. Why, I have absolutely no clue, but I'm sure you've experienced it a time or two yourselves. It's like when it comes out, you can feel it pulling at the back of your head, like it's attached to your brain or maybe like part of your brain is coming out with it.
Or how about lung cookie. That's one I tend to use alot, though I'm not exactly sure where I picked up the term. It's for that gaggingly gross blob that comes up when you have a chest cold and you've no hanky to use so you just cough wetly into the palm of your hand and regret it afterwards.
My apologies to those with "tender" tummies. I know this isn't exactly nice imagery I'm putting up here, but well...you write what you are experiencing, right? Or something like that. This does remind me of something else, only slightly related, in that it's disgustingly gross and not a topic of discussion that you'd want to start over a meal.
My mom's always had a stomach of steel. But just like any "super-hero", she has her weakness. That would be vomit. She can handle the bloodiest of cuts, worst cases of the runs, and anyt other type of fluidy messes a sick individual (namely her kids) might suffer. Except vomit. She can handle the sight of it, sure enough, but it's the smell that breaks through her guard and if she catches whiff, she's a goner. In other words, she gets sick too and well...let's just say it's not a pretty sight.
With raising two kids though, she was bound to have to deal with vomitting a time or two and on one occasion she thought she'd figured out a way to deal with it. She gathered up the thickest bath towel she could find and instructed my dad to tie it around her face, using it like a mask of sorts, so that it covered her nose and mouth. She could still breath alright, but she was positive the towel's folds of fabric would block out any unwanted odors. Dad did as he was asked and she even made him knot it good, so that it wouldn't loosen and thereby jeopardize her genius plan.
As it were, it was me that had fallen ill and though I'd made a true effort to reach the porcelain throne in time, the distance had proven too great for me and so there I was, crying and upchucking all over the hallway floor, just steps from my intended goal. Enter mom, towel-wrapped face and cleaning tools in each hand. She was ready to handle the situation. Or so she thought.
Much to her dismay, the stench of my sicky was too clever for the towel and wiggled its way to her nose. When that happened, chaos ensued. My mom literally dropped her things and ran for it, her screams muffled by the towel, her fingers clawing at the knot at the back of her head, but the towel was there to stay and of course the inevitable happened. It was truly a mess and a miracle she didn't somehow choke on it.
So yeah, strange thoughts to be running through my mind at this time of night. I just hope they don't lead to nightmares of knotted towels and bad smells. Likely not...as I haven't seemed to dream for a very long while. I've heard that we dream every night, but that we don't always remember them. I guess I'm just as forgetful while sleeping as I am while awake, as I hardly ever remember any of mine. Oddly enough that creeps me out more than some of the dreams I've actually recalled having.
Maybe I'll write about those next time...
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Tartan's post about her grandmother's passing brought back memories of one of my grandparents, so instead of directly replying to that post, decided to simply make an entry in my journal all about him.
I was never really close to most of my extended family, dad's side or mom's, as I'm just not the sociable type to start with but also because as many American families, we were so far spread over the country, and travel wasn't the easiest thing, we just didn't have time or make time to visit as often as we probably could or should have. I don't really miss not having close relations with them though, for one, how can you miss something you never had, but also since most of my relatives are bizarre or of questionable character in some way or another, it's probably a blessing that their influences never had much affect on my life. (that of course is a whole other story ;) )
The same can be said of my grandparents, though I won't go into all the reasons why and whatnot. There was one though, Grandpa Joe, that I did favour even though like the rest we never really saw much of him. For some reason my fondest childhood memories of family visits and such are usually those times we spent with him. Now, without really going into too much detail, the man had his flaws, as anyone else, some greater than others. My mom and her siblings (two sets of twins, if you can believe it, twin boys and twin girls) were raised in an abusive home, as the evil step mom beat them and other awful things during their time before leaving home when they became of age. My grandpa knew of it and did nothing, yet my mom later forgave him (and the evil hag) for this and kept contact with him long after even up until his death, unlike her siblings.
Putting that dark period aside though, I've many fond memories of Grandpa Joe. Just bits and pieces really, since as I said, we didn't visit him as much as one might expect, but the few times we had were relatively nice and interesting. Lots of things I recall are from stories my mom would tell us, others were things I saw or heard myself. I know he was a barber, had his own shop right there next to his house, even cut my brother's hair a few times (though in his last years my brother hated this cause his hands were shaky and there was concern there'd be an ear flying along with hair).
If I remember correctly he was a barber in the military and that's how he came to start his own business. I remember seeing pictures of him in his military uniform, and how funny it was to see that the gun seemed bigger than him, a short Philipino man. The same was true of the bass he liked to play. I remember mom telling stories of how he came to live in the US, something about him having stowed away on a ship from the Philipinne Islands when he was only 16 (there were rumours he'd gotten in a snag of trouble for getting involved with some girl he wasn't supposed to, but how true that was I wouldn't know). I don't know at what point he took on American citizenship, but I do know he often bragged about how he and those like him likely knew more about America than those of us born there. He often bragged about his "sexy legs" too, which appeared to me to be more like two short sticks of raw sausage, but whatever. :P
My mom used to talk about a cockatiel he used to have named Lolita. He apparantly loved that bird quite a bit as he cried when she died. Supposedly it would sing and talk to him and dip its crackers in a bit of coffee like he did and when he let it roam around the house it wore some sort of birdie diaper. When it made a mess of it, it'd pluck the diaper off and run around laughing. Funny stories like those and the relatively pleasant times we had when we'd take him to some oriental dinner house or other and enjoy a meal just talking and eating and stuff, are what come to mind when I think of him.
Anyway, I remember when my Grandpa Joe died and like the rest of you I didn't cry when I learned of it. He'd been suffering from cancer, and complications related to that, so it came as no surprise when my mom came home from the hospital one day to inform us of his passing. My brother and I hadn't been allowed to visit him in that final week or so, mostly because I think my mom wanted us not to remember him as he looked then, but as we remembered him before.
We went to the funeral, of course, and as it happened it was open casket. There were hundreds of people there, most of whom I didn't know and as we made the circuit of passing the casket and giving our final condolences I still didn't shed a tear, but I remember thinking how unlike himself he looked. Too much color I think and too full in the face. But then it was over and we were moving along in the line and I didn't give it another thought, till I noticed another Philipino man in the line behind us, and how sad he looked. I assumed he had been one of my grandpa's good friends, possibly even a army mate or something, and as I watched him I grew more sad inside, not for my loss, but for his. He just looked so forlorn and miserable that my heart went out to him and it was then that I cried, again not so much for me but more for him, for the little lost looking man that had lost his friend.
Funny I guess how things like that turn out. I'm just thankful that I have mostly good memories of him to think on and pass on to my boy, since my grandpa passed away long before my son was born. He was an interesting person with alot of character and it prides me when my mom mentions that my "artistic talents" likely came from him, as he had a gift for drawing and whatnot. I'm glad I got to know him, at least in some little way.
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| Date: | 2004-09-27 21:58 |
| Subject: | Anti-Veggie |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  dorky |
Okay, so I don't hate all vegetables, but a good majority of them. And before I go any further, yes...I have tried them and no, it didn't make any difference in my tastes or opinion of them. Correction, often the tasting of them resulted in only amplifying my loathing for certain ones, like peas, which happens to be among the foulest of them all and also one of my husband's favorites. Oh the cruelness of fate! :P
How did I grow to become Anti-Veggie, you ask? I was born this way, much to the disbelief of many. Even as an infant I refused to swallow the healthy foods, no matter how persistent my parents were at trying to spoon them down me. As the years went on my parents, my father in particular, adopted a "clean your plate" rule to encourage me to eat them and of course it often resulted in my visiting the porcelain throne, as the pure vileness of intaking the nasty things often upset my poor stomach and I had no choice but to rid myself of them.
After a few episodes of that, my mom finally gave up on that rule and went for a more subtle approach. She had a knack for hiding things in our meals, hoping I wouldn't notice. I always did though, much to her chagrin, and eventually they resigned themselves to the fact that I was how I was and there was no changing me or my eating habits.
True enough I knew my dislike of veggies wasn't all that normal or more importantly healthy for me, and there have been several periods of my life where I forced my own self to swallow some down, hoping that I'd grow into the taste of them and perhaps even one day actually crave them. That's how it was for my uncle, who much like myself, avoided vegetables in his younger years then suddenly developed a liking for them in his later years. Never worked that way with me though.
To make matters all the more complicated, it's not just vegetables I have an issue with, as I'm overall an extremely picky eater. I'm often reminded of the scenes in When Harry Met Sally, where Sally is busy ordering her meals at some restaurant, and how she is very specific in how she wants things cooked and even placed on her plate. I'm not as neat and tidy as that, but just as demanding in many respects. My mom often reminds me of how she basically had to cook two different meals at each table setting, one for the family and one for me. Needless to say there were many evenings I ended up with just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the sake of making her job easier. By the way, it was years before I would eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with both the peanut butter and the jelly together. I would only eat them seperate in the beginning. Told you I was picky! :P
Ironically, I find myself facing the same "problem" with my son, as he too is a rather picky eater. He does eat a considerably wider variety of vegetables than I do (I stick with mostly just potatoes and certain types of beans), but I now know first-hand the frustration my parents felt with me, when I find myself working to encourage my boy to try new things and eat that which I know is good for him. It's not the best parenting method, but I more often than not find myself giving him the "do as I say and not as I do" line, which usually earns me a sour look from him but then he does as he's told. I make a point not to push him too hard though, as I know how it felt to be forced, so we've a deal that he must try a dish at least twice before he can say yea or nay to it. Probably better approaches to it than that, but it works for us and as a result he's learned that there are indeed some foods that might look weird but taste pretty good to him and that makes me feel hopeful that he won't turn out to be a near total Anti-Veggie like me.
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Leiza's entry about blood donations got me to thinking about my dislike of doctors and all things medical related in general. Well, it's not exactly a dislike, as these things *are* intended to ease our discomforts and see to it that we live as healthy a life as possible, but more of my being a complete wimp about anything that might cause me pain, like the pinprick of a needle. Yikes!
Yes folks, meet your friendly neighbourhood wimp. There are so many tales of my wimpiness that it's hard to settle on a few to recite here for your reading pleasure. Generally speaking, I've always tried to avoid anything and everything to do with causing myself pain. That's normal, you might say, as one would have to be mentally off-balance to actually *want* to hurt themselves right? Well....do you have pierced ears (or some other body part)? Do you visit the dentist and undergo treatment when necessary? Do you use a cheesegrater? :P
That's right, there are plenty of regular, normal things that folks do every day that they wouldn't think twice about but that I loathe to do entirely. Let's take the ear-piercing first. I know many parents that don't even give their kids the choice, and have their infants' ears pierced before their first birthday. Myself, I waited till I was sixteen, and even then, it took a great deal of coaxing from my mom. You see, I was and still am a bit of a tomboy, in that I don't spend hours before the mirror primping and prissing and generally being all girlish, no offense to those of you that do that. ;) I just never was one for makeup, jewelry or even dresses for that matter. Anyway, she managed to convince me that it was high time I took the leap and escorted me off to none other than our local Wal-Mart department store for a cheap quickie piercing with free earrings to boot. They did the traditional, "now you won't feel a thing" line and told me I might hear something like popcorn popping in my ear. Well, needless to say, after the first ear was poked, it took a heap deal more convincing before I let them near me again for the second one. After using the logic that I wouldn't want to run around with half the job done, I eventually permitted them to use the piercing gun one last time. Now, years later, I rarely bother with earrings, namely because I'm usually so allergic to the foreign object in my flesh for one reason or another that I have to contend with soreness or worse, just wearing them for a few minutes. Yeah, that was one decision I wish I could take back.
And don't get me started on dental visits. I've had one too many bad experiences in my youth to ever, ever feel comfortable even in the waiting room anymore. I recall one time that my dentist was putting so much pressure on the needle as he was working to deaden an area in preparation for some drilling, that he broke the needle off in my mouth. After that, when my folks took me to visit him, they had to do all sorts of things to try to get me to calm down, but not even the laughing gas would help most of the time. My mom would be in the waiting room and hear me screaming bloody murder and thinking to herself, wow, they must really be doing some work on her, only to have the dentist come out and inform her that I wouldn't even let him in the room without freaking. Eventually I grew to a state of "let's just get the darn thing over with" attitude and managed to keep most of my panic and fear to myself, but it's not a fun thing to deal with and certainly nothing I do just for the heck of it. Meaning I only go when I absolutely must. ;)
But even the littlest things can set me off. One time, when I was like...I dunno, 10 or so, I fell down in our backyard and landed in some stickers. One palm of my hand was literally covered with the things and all I could do was stand there and scream. I think my mom had to slap me just to get me out of my hysterics, that or just to get me to not notice her plucking the dreadful things out of my hand. Either way, I felt really silly but couldn't help myself. That's basically how it is with things of this sort. You know it's more or less an irrational fear (aside from the horrors of the dentist office, that's not irrational folks, it's fact! :P), but you just can't help yourself from being skiddish, squeamish and downright panicky about it.
The ironic thing, and something to this day that my mom is totally astonished about and probably one of the few things she could honestly say she admires me for, is that someone like me, who freaks at the mere mention of needles and goes bonkers if someone even suggests I should visit the dentist, had natural childbirth for my son. That's right, no drugs. Nadda. Wasn't my idea, of course. Happens that my family physician at the time wasn't of the mind to go that route and since I was comfortable with him, I did as he suggested. My mom thought I was nuts and likely would end up requesting something, but in the end I didn't. I went through nearly 14 hours of labour that day. Was so exhausted near the end, that I was actually sleeping in between my contractions. I didn't even really remember much about it afterwards, since through the really rough parts I was too tired to care about anything other than working through it. From what others tell me though, I was a real trooper, only giving one cry at the very end. Compared to some of the horror stories I'd heard from "experienced" moms, I think I had a real easy time of it. Even my boy came into the world rather calmly. He was so quiet in fact that my mom had thought maybe they had indeed drugged me and it'd passed on to him. I guess we were both just ready and prepared or something.
Come to think of it, probably the day my boy came into my life, my thoughts about my own "safety" and whatnot took sideseat to everything else. I know I've found myself sitting in awkward positions on the couch or something, giving myself really bad arm/leg cramps, simply because he'd fallen asleep on me and I wanted him to stay as comfortable as possible. I know that's not really much in the way of the main topic of this entry, but I think you know what I mean. I'd gladly take a needle for him, in other words. ;)
So if you too get that familiar cringe when you see a needle or feel weak in the knees as you cross the threshold of a doctor's waiting room, feeling the dread of what might need to be done that will require picking or poking or worse...be comforted in the thought that you are not alone.
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Firstly, I'm not going to sit here and say that I haven't a weight problem, because the fact is that I'm indeed overweight. That alone doesn't keep me from most "athletic" types of activities though. Generally speaking, I'm able to do just about anything, in moderation, like hiking, biking, swimming (though I'm not a big fan of water), etc. I say in moderation because it's not exactly my weight that concerns me, though it does play it's own role, when I consider tackling those types of activities.
Let's go back a few years...okay, quite a few years, but let's not bring my age into this. ;) In my younger years, we're talking grade school to junior high, I was as active as any other youngster, even more so than some. I played basketball, competed in track events and all other sorts of the usual things kids get into. The thing that singled me out though was that even though I did all these things, I was often overcome with periods or bouts of extreme exhaustion, a type of lethargy, if you will. My mom naturally just chalked it up as my being lazy and of course after a time it would pass and we didn't really think over it too much.
Graduation time came and well, coming from a home that didn't fit into the "too poor so you get everything free" or the "so rich you can afford anything" group, there wasn't any plans for me to head off to college, at least not directly. I wasn't outstanding enough in any subject to warrant special attention in the way of scholarships, or so we thought, and so I did what most kids where I come from did, I tried to join the military. Now some people would say, what? Are you nuts? But looking at it from our standpoint, it was the most logical thing in the world. Not only would I get the experience of meeting new people, learning new things, etc., I'd also be earning money to go towards that degree that eventually I hoped to get.
Well, as fate would have it, I never made it that far. I never even made it through the medical examination. It was during this exam that I was first made aware that there was something physcially wrong with me. Seems I'd been "suffering" from a heart condition without realising it. I had a heart rate of 103+ just sitting, if that gives you anything to go by. I went through routine and not-so-routine tests after that with our family physician. Turned out that I had some kind of valve leakage and a heart murmur. The doctor explained that due to my condition, I was subject to bouts of tiredness and basically described all the symptoms I'd shown all along which we'd thought were nothing significant. It was suspected that the murmur was caused by the leakage, which basically forced my heart to pump faster than it should, something about not getting enough oxygen, and after being put on medication for the problem the murmur did indeed go away.
My mom of course felt badly after that, since she'd thought I was just being lazy and had gotten on to me when I complained. She tells me now that if she'd known earlier, I probably never would have been allowed to play or participate in the things I had, as she would have been too worried about me keeling over or something (I think that was around the time some basketball player or something died from a heart condition while on the court, though I don't think it was similar to mine). I was kept on heart pills for nearly six years and during that time my weight skyrocketed, which the doctor said was to be expected.
During that time I married, had a kid, saw a doctor (since we'd moved to a new town) and he claimed there was no need for the medication I was taking, so I was taken off it, then came the divorce. After the divorce, my weight went considerably down as the heavy weight on my shoulders was lifted (and probably more so because I was no longer on the medication). I felt better than I had in years and didn't really give my past heart problems much thought after that. Like I said, I can do most things without too much difficulty, so I never really felt too hampered. Not long after that I went in for a check-up and was told that my murmur was still there. Not necessarily happy news, but I wasn't surprised either. He wasn't my regular physician though so he didn't prescribe anything for it and I never pursued the issue after my move overseas.
Recently though, and possibly due to my getting on in years, I've noticed and experienced certain things that have only gone to amplify or bring more of my attention to those things from the past. While my current weight does play a factor in my every day life, my allergies and other problems seem to be have a far greater impact on what I can or cannot do. Sinus problems that lead to my having extreme ear trouble have sent me tumbling to the ground, as I've passed out a few times. I have poor balance/equilibrium trouble as it is, but depending on the circumstances, it can be downright disabling with it causing nausea and whatnot. I bike with my son to his school twice a day and while it isn't that far, sometimes it can be a task if the weather is harsh and I end up sick for weeks or months with this or that.
I often joke that I'm the genetic refuge of my mom and dad's lineages, as I have so much wrong with me. From severe skin problems to bad eyesight to dental horrors to heart problems to obesity to allergies that are too many to name, to weak joints and spurs and calcium deposits, etc., it can only bring images of freak show to mind. :P
It's okay though, as I've lived with this stuff all my life and have managed so far without too much difficulty. I know there are people in this world that have it far worse than I do, but I still have my down days where things like what I wrote about before can hit me hard. Something I've been thankful for so far is that my son has shown very few signs of having the same things I have, like my sometimes severe eczema. He's had a few tiny patches here and there, but nothing like me, who was born a red baby because I was covered with what I "fondly" refer to as my lizard-skin.
I hope he remains so, but at least I'm here to help him get through it if he does, since I'll be talking from experience and not from a textbook reference or something. So to all you others that are riddled with problems that do nothing but stack up the complications in your lives, I know how it is and I sympathize. We just gotta hang in there, eh? :)
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Do you know how it feels to be irrationally or uncontrollably "feely" about something, even when you know you shouldn't be? I'm sure the gals know what I'm talking about...cause typically it's a more common thing that happens around a certain time of the month. Am I right? ;) Right, so here's a little story for ya...
It began about a week ago. My son's a big fan of what I call "chop chop" movies. You know, anything and everything involving martial arts of one variety or another. I don't really remember what started the fascination, but I'm pretty sure our broad collection of DVD's of that genre or whatever has played a big part in nurturing his love for the art.
Every year he comes home from school with flyers of some sort or another, inviting kids to come join a dance group or the scouts or soccer team or judo class. Now, in the beginning, none of that interested him, but last week he announced to us that he wanted to join a class of some type that involved the "chop chop". So my husband finds out about a Tai Kwon Do training facility in the local neighborhood. He calls and finds out the basics, hours, prices, that sort of thing. So we decide to let squirt experiment and promise him a chance to try out the class (they offer the first three lessons for free, so can't really say no to that, eh?) and all is fairly hunky dorey.
I've my reservations, of course, being the overprotective mother that I am. I start having visions of bloody noses and bruised arms and legs and worse. I realise though that this would present a perfect opportunity for him to spread his wings, learn another type of culture thing and get a taste of the discipline and responsibility that comes with it. So I grew accustomed to the idea and haven't really said much about it.
Then my husband starts showing an interest, talking about his younger days when he'd train around with buddies of his from school and whatnot. I keep my thoughts to myself though, even though I'm already feeling a knot of mixed feelings growing in the pit of my stomach at this new development. He learns about the hours of the classes for his age group, even tries to get his co-worker to think about joining up too, but then he says that the hours don't match on a particular day, so it doesn't look as though he can work it out to join up. Relief is hardly enough to describe what I felt when I learned he'd put the idea of joining up behind him. I had enough concerns and whatnot to deal with, with my boy getting involved with it, and wasn't really prepared for much more.
Well, tonight was my boy's first class. My husband announced that he was going to participate as well, since this night was an open class, meaning all age groups. That little knot popped back up. The class was to last only an hour and as I waited for them to return, I kept reassuring myself that things were going fine, that my boy would find others his own age and make friends and get settled in really well. Waited some more, checking the clock regularly. I worried maybe if he'd chickened out at the last moment, since he's notorious for being goofily shy around strangers. I waited some more. The class had ended long ago and still I waited. Finally, in they both walk and I ask how things went. My son announces that he's hooked and already knows he plans to sign up, but I urge him to wait till his other two free lessons are done before he makes up his mind (I never like making rash decisions like that, especially when it involves him) and he says okay and that's that. I'm glad that he enjoyed himself and that things seem to be going in the right direction.
Then I ask my husband how it went and find out that the delay had been due to him talking with someone there, and before I know it, he's informing me that he will indeed be signing up as well. That he asked if special arrangements could be made so that he could work in the hours and all I could keep thinking was...well, great. Call me selfish or immature or whatever, but all I could feel was hurt that I was being left out *again* (this feeling of being left out isn't a new one, you see, since I'm often left out of conversations in the native tongue here, since I can't follow quickly enough, or I miss out on bike rides because the temperature is too warm and I'd likely pass out after a block or two). You see, I'm not the healthiest person around. Nine days out of ten I'm sick with *something*. I'm overweight, out of shape, riddled with allergies, constantly taking one pill or another, and overall not the kind of person you'd think about when you want to ask someone to go out and do something athletic with you. So I'm certain that's why it never crossed his mind to ask if I might want to join in with the two of them. Regardless, I felt hurt that he hadn't. I felt abandoned really, as dramatic as that sounds, since all I have are the both of them. My world revolves around them and it leaves me feeling lost when both of them are off doing something I typically can't do.
I guess when I found out that my husband wasn't going to enroll, I thought that the evenings my boy was in his class, would be a time for just me and hubby. A quiet couple time, something we don't get very often. Probably wouldn't end up doing anything different than we do now, but still, it was the thought of us being together that was comforting, if nothing else. And when he informed me that this wasn't going to be the case, I felt pretty upset about it. Got snappy with him, for what seemed to him like no reason at all, and I haven't really said much to him about it since. I don't bother discussing with him just what it is about this that bothers me, because I realise it isn't fair for me to feel the way I do. He's got his own interests and it isn't right for me to expect him to not pursue them.
So here again I find myself feeling things I know I shouldn't, but still do anyways. It's a crappy mix of feelings too, cause there's the guilt and shame in there for feeling the other stuff. What a wacky way to be, eh? Ah well...I'll just blame it on "that time of the month" as that seems to be the more acceptable excuse to most men, rather than facing the fact that some of us are just more emotionally complex individuals, round the clock, and can't always control how we feel or respond in a way that's always pleasant.
I am woman, hear me roar. :P
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I couldn't possibly list every single instance that I've cried, from just a few sniffles to a full fledged bawling session. There are just too many of them. And it's not always any one thing that triggers it...could be a heart-wrenching movie, an emotionally climactic family moment (like when I've just had to sternly discipline my son and he gives his tearful apology afterward for bad behavior or something and we have that hugging session and all), a meaningful song, a sappy television commercial, an "I love you" note for no special reason from your hubby that you find tucked in a place he knows you'll look, and so on and so forth.
Sometimes it's so bad it's as if I've turned on a faucet. And it's not like I'm a pretty crier either. Oh no. I'm a horrible sight...the puffy eyes, all red and watery, the runny nose, flushed face and on top of that the blubbering sounds I make when I'm trying my darndest *not* to cry. I usually feel like I've just woken up with what I'd imagine a hangover would feel like, yuckiness, including a massive headache that can last for several hours after the fact.
My husband tends to regard me as someone who actually enjoys shedding the water-works or like a nutball...probably the latter, but it's not like I plan it. It just happens. Perhaps I'm too sensitive or overly emotional or mental. Regardless, at times it can feel like a burden. Especially when it's at a time when you need to express your strength for another's sake, to make them feel that you are their support...then to break down and feel as though your "weakness" somehow means that you failed them, let them down.
I even cry when I get angry, which is oddly confusing. It's like I'm so filled with my anger that it has to come out somewhere and since I've yet learned how to make steam come out of my ears, out come the salty tears. Makes it hard to hold a heated argument too, since I tend not to make too much sense when I'm hiccuping, snotting and generally unable to put two words together without having a lip quiver. Or just trying to talk heart to heart with someone, opening completely up to them can be a task for me if I let down all my guards. It's like the instant I go to say something poignant or whatever, that familiar lump rises up in my throat and the words struggle to come out and then the damn breaks.
I remember as a young girl, I'd end up writing long drawn out letters to my mom after we'd have a tiff, as I found it easier to shed my feelings down on paper than to speak it outright. It was doubly difficult since I get my emotionality or whatever you might call it, from her. So you can just imagine the sight we must have made when we both broke down.
And while there are times I wish I could hold back the tears, I know without a doubt that if I didn't have that outlet, I'd be in far worse shape. I know that because afterward, after the redness goes away and the headache dies down...I always feel at least a little better for having released whatever it was that needed out. So next time you feel wound up and got nothing else better to do, go have a good cry and see if it helps.
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It's that time again, Mr. Journal. The late night hour has quietly crept up and I find myself whittling away the minutes with thoughts of "where did I put my other sock?" and "the humming noise the computer is making is really starting to annoy me" and of course the ever popular "imagine that, a cornflake shaped like Pippy Longstocking in my cereal this morning and I forgot to save it and ate it instead. It was yummy though".
It's times like these when one can really focus in on something specific, rather than just random bits and pieces of one's self. Hmm...bits and pieces. I'm reminded of an ongoing joke within my little family with regards to my pinkie toes. Now there's an interesting topic for you.
You see, my husband swears that I've but only four toes on each foot. So much so that if I should need to scratch them, or bump them or otherwise draw attention to what I claim to be my pinkie toes, he calls them phantom pains or phantom toes or something else along the lines of "it's all in your head".
I look down now at my bare feet and do assuredly count ten toes in all, but seems my pinkie toes aka nubbins are the blunt of some wickedly silly amusement of my fella and undoubtedly will remain so for some time to come. I must admit that it does tickle me pink sometimes, at some of the witty comments he can come up about them, but don't tell him that as it would only encourage his antics.
Between that and him pointing out my "Great White", that being one of the very prominently white hairs that I now have growing on my head with the coming of my "elder years", I can hardly go a day without being reminded of my quirks. I don't really mind though, as these bits and pieces are what make me, me. So if he finds enjoyment in pointing out how special I am, who am I to deny him? ;)
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Alot has happened in the last six or so years. Divorce, remarriage, moving overseas. Not to mention all the mini-crisis inbetween all of that. You'd think I'd be a basketcase by now, eh? (sshhh, my hubby would say that I am and have been for some time)
We did the visitation thing, for my ex, three times a year. Recently though he decided that getting out of a debt (he owed over 10k in child support) was more important than doing whatever it took to keep in contact with his own flesh and blood. Parental rights given up, whoosh, and my husband was granted permission to adopt my son as his own.
Suffice it to say that things couldn't have turned out more for the better than they have. There's still a bit of a gap there for my boy and it'll likely be many years before he can fully understand what all this means, even though we talk often and openly about the subject. There's only so much you can explain to an 8yr old, after all, but I feel he at least understands that mommie does what she does because she only wants the best for him, and that's all that matters really. I mean, every time my boy mentions a pet dog he used to have over there in the States, I'm especially thankful for how things turned out because he misses and pines over that dog more than anything else, including his so-called father. That in itself says alot.
Of course my husband, our rock, has been there for us both, hanging in there even with all my emotional baggage and the usual nuttiness that is me. We've been settled in here for about four years now and like Marie mentioned, kids can be amazing in the face of seemingly overwhelming odds and obstacles. I was so worried in the beginning, about how my boy would adjust to everything, but if anything I'm the one that has had the most difficulty. lol He thinks it's cool that he actually gets to teach his classmates a bit of English and finds it fun that he's "special" because he's not originally from here. Whereas I'm quite reluctant to fully give in to the "nativeness" that is Belgium, and not even sure why, save for my stubborness that I've mentioned before. Perhaps that old saying, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, applies even more so for me.
The start of the new school year, holidays, when my boy is in a particularly sad mood...it's at those times usually that my mind mulls over these things, to pick and poke at all the decisions I've made in my life for me and for my son, and how they've brought us to this point in our lives. Should I have done this or not done that? Would it have made any difference? Will my boy grow to resent those choices? This and that...yet nothing really. I have to wonder why I would put myself through such torture time and time again, but I suppose it's in my nature to do it, being the natural born worry wart that I am. Ah yes...better to focus on the present and look forward to the future than to worry about the past, right? Now if my hubby knew I'd said that, he'd be smirking and saying "yeah right, you not worry? that'll be the day ;)". Yeah...he knows me too well. :P
Anyway, enough about that. I did hear from my folks today, so that was nice. I ended up phoning them and talked with both for a good while. Seems the move went fine and they are working to settle in down there, both already having part-time jobs and making plans to get a place of their own eventually. My mom's a sucker for "charity cases" though and her plans of moving out from my brother's place within a month is likely going to string into something a bit longer, since my brother and his wife were recently informed that their son may be austistic. Prior to the move, my mom was pretty adamant about not wanting to end up being just a nanny for them to use, but I think since this new development, she's taken on a new perspective and may instead be inclined to devote alot of her time to helping them help him. It's not official yet though, as apparantly he's too young to accurately diagnose and the doctors have merely labled him as "developmentally slow", but he has shown several signs of it, which has prompted them to read up on the subject and whatnot.
My cold is still hanging on, with me coughing a bit more and head as stuffed as a turkey on Thanksgiving, but I'm staying tough. I pop a few pills, spray a few things, down a capful of that and I'm good to go...dazed and confused. :D
So yeah, there's another peek into my life that probably could have gone left unwritten, but there you go. And there goes my sneeze attack so I'll take that as my cue to sign off for today. Roger, over and out.
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